Sometimes you see art and you wonder why it moves you. It can be because there is not a moment in your life you will be capable of achieving what it can depict or worse it can be used to tell you that pain is beautiful .
I just finished watching the movie Great Expectations. I have seen it before so many times and I saw it again with the same wonder, the same pain and the same sense of beauty. When she held his hand I felt it too… Estella sounds like a magic word…it has always been that way for me. I have had my Estella for years in my dreams. I had seen her when I was in bed one morning with my eyes closed wanting to know I was worth loving. That was so long ago and I can still remember the countless hours I have wasted imagining her. The wonder in my dreams was that I saw the pain Finn felt and yet I love her too. As if the pain made the love more beautiful than it could have been on its own.
The story of the convict, Finn’s benefactor made me feel the light of goodness on me. I thought I could feel it and tell myself that this is what is worth living for. That was an argument that I closed .Estella has never been an argument. She has been the one who has made all this perception worthwhile.
I have said the things I have said here because I can and I have to. It is just a wonder why I have waited for too long to describe my thoughts in this particular fashion. It is special when you have seen the movie before or know the story. The pain is always lurking around because you know what is going to happen but despite that it arrives with precision only when it should and hits with the same intensity every time .this book is almost like a gift only for me. It has taught me so much. It has made me look at things so differently and so much so that I can write down what you have just read making it hardly comprehensible and leading to the conclusion that I think too much.
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